Medallion...

Recently, very busy….

Is that I worried too much, is it because I carry too much things on my shoulder, is that I worry so much about the foresight of others and unable express what I feel, I do not know….

Just hope and wish other peoples will not give me trouble and heavier burden of me…

Every times also like that, when you are very busy, something new problems will arise without you acknowledge and need you to solve it in short span of time…

Always said no choice is my choice…

But, is that I really have no choice….

Right…

In this few days, I really can appreciate- “no choice is my choice” – the true meaning of it…

You will not ever know what your feeling is unless you force by others and you need to experience it…

I think, I need strength to make me be brave…

If can, I really hope that I can apply self esteem maintenance kit into my daily life!!!

I need those resources apply in my life…. I need those resources to help me growth…

If I have “Medallion”- I think I could be more honest to myself…

I want to be myself own choice maker…

Do not ever influence by others and follow what others said and let those people back step on me…

But why did I unable to do, do what I want to do, stay away from everything - feel relieved

I just want live in a peaceful environment, does not means that I am a person who can bully…

Oirginia Salin mentions that the problem is not the problem; coping is the problem…

“We have choices, especially in terms of responding to stress instead of reacting to situation”…

I hope Salin Therapeutic Belief is true, and really can be applying in my own…

Step by step, help me to cope all of my problems and become our own choice maker….

Just discovered

After study around two years in University, just know that many of my course mate still receive pocket money from their parents in order to continue their studies and life in the university….

I’m quite surprise that how come have such many people still need their families supported even though they already 21 years old???

Aren’t that if you no matter he or she are 21 years old already that means they are big enough?

After 21 years old, we should not depend on families, right?? Because we are adult and become dependents already, right?!!

Then, how come although they said there are mature and had receive “key” already, they still want receive pocket money from their families??

Very confuse…

When I enter to university, in the first few months in semester one, I really got receive some pocket money from my mom… But after that, even though my mom asks me and wants to give money for me spends in University, I really don’t want take that money from her already…

Is not because I have much money to spend… is just because I don’t want depends on others to survive... I will depends on my PTPTN to survive in my daily life… although that money is not so much, but I think it is enough if we do not misuse that money…

Maybe everyone have different perception and perspective regarding this issue…

And in my point of view, I just feel that:

I already big enough… I have my own though, life and needs and wants…and its all are not related to my families members… therefore, if possible, I really don’t want ask for other people helps and don’t want always depends on others…

I want to be a dependent person… even though in reality I always feel that I’m very independent… but, I will try my best…

In my memories, some people say that I quite dependents, but in fact, I’m not… maybe because our belief is not same… but I really got take some effort on it… and maybe this effort can seem by others…therefore, they said I am a dependent person…

Sometimes, when I look through my friends, some of them quite dependents… they live in their way of life… does whatever that they want, need not to thinks so much… live for them but not others…

In my mind, I really envy them… hope in the near future; I also can become like that… become so independent…

Daily life

not feeling good... ...

hate my university... lousy management...

really hope that i can leave this University soon...

But, still have two more semester to go...

so, what can i do...

Always stay at here... do nothing... feel bored...

when look through others friend, they seem like very enjoy their life...

then, what going wrong with me?!!

really dunno what can i do...

so, decided make may life full with different activities....

need not think so much...

by doing so, hope that i can feel better...

0(^-^)0

三月二日

三月二日 星期二

明天，是我的生日～
并没打算庆祝，也没甚好庆祝的～
不知为什么会有这种感觉～　或许这并不许任何的理由～
只是单纯的不想庆祝～
晚餐~并未感觉有什么特别～
只是在想着几点走呢？！
没有奇怪的感觉，也未发现有啥不妥～
突然，生日歌响起～　没什感觉～
只想着～　咦～　今天有人生日哦~
尝试看看四周～
是谁呢？？
Oh NO!!! Is me?? Aiyo～ so blur 啦～～
我并不知吖~感觉好笨哦！！！ My GOD～
ＷＨＹＬＡＨ～～　ＡＬＷＡＹＳ LIKE ＴＨＡＴ　ＯＮＥ～　Ｓｏ　ＳＴＵＰＩＤ　ｌａｈ～～
不知如何应对了～～并不大懂得应付这种场面～～不知如何是好，该做什么？！！只好拍几张照片留念～～
哈哈～～刚好今天有戴帽子～～我想并不太看到脸吧～～
无论如何，也蛮特别的～～
许愿～～Ａａｉ～难题又来了～～
该许什么愿呢？！！　想了蛮久一下～～
最终也许了～～希望不久的将来愿望会成真～～虽然那似乎是非常渺茫的事～～
但～～还是希望愿望可以成真～～　真的真的非常希望哪一天会到来～～

感谢～感谢帮我庆祝的人～～
谢谢他／她们的这份用心～这份心意～
虽然并不是什么了不起的事情～但真的非常感谢他／她们为我庆祝～～
当然～也非常感谢ＳＭＳ来WISH 我的朋友～
虽然身处不同的地方~也许就没见面~~
但真的很高兴你们没有忘记我的生日~~
SMS来WISH我～～真的非常高兴~
只想说～谢谢你们~~不管是帮我庆祝的，SMS来WISH我的，仰或是在课室里WISH我的～～
真的真地感激你们在这天带给我的祝福～只想说～～一声祝福~~真的 more than enough～～
但愿～～自己已不会忘记你们的生日～～
虽然祝福并不是什么特别或值钱的东西～～
但对我来说却有着非常大的意义～～
希望你们也感觉如此～

Happy Birthday- Jess

Happy Birthday to my dear friend, Jessica...

Wish you all dreams come true and have a nice day...

Even thought we not accompany you in this "big day", but still hope that you will have a day that full with happiness and meaningful....

May today be one of gladness filled with laughter and good cheer as you celebrate...

miss you.... muacks...

Thanksgiving ceremony...

21/11/2009, 星期五，该是我回家的日子。。。

但，因今晚是PHP为member举办的thanksgiving ceremony的日子，所以就待在金宝。。。

可惜。。。天空不作美，竟然下起雨来。。。

唉，没办法，唯有撑着雨伞走路去。。。希望不会迟到就好。。。

幸好，只是刚开始，当时松了一口气。。。

进到auditorium room时，刚开始播movie。。。

刚动，真的很感动。。。也有好一阵子没有被一套戏感动到流眼泪了。。。

真的是一部很值得看的戏。。。-“Pay It Forward”也译作“把爱传下去”。。。

虽然，主角最终不幸去世了。。。但，我觉得他想要做的是毕竟是成功了。。。

虽然可惜，但谁也忘不了他的那一份“真心”，是多么的纯洁。。。

相信人与人之间，还是存有“爱”的。。。

有空的朋友，不妨看看。。。或许有些人，第一次，第二次看都没有什么感觉，但，我是真的被感动到了。。。希望大家会用心来看这部戏。。。

Movie review过后，是颁发certificate给member的时间了。。。

虽然段战，但过程也栓蛮温馨的。。。

完成整个module的会员，都分享了他们的感想。。。虽不是很“formal”的感觉，但也觉得很“warm"...

我想，要向他们般偶尔参加一些活动，那在大学的生活才不至于被白白浪费掉，且又让人回味的价值吧。。。真想像他们一样，active起来。。。

不知不觉，也到了结束的时间。。。当然，我们也不会忘了把这这重要的一刻拍下来，作为纪念。。。

就像老实说的，这不是一张普通的"cert",而是一张需要我们经过一些课程，学了一些技巧，人是人与人之间的一种关系而得来的。。。

虽然不知是否真的做到，但“we love, we care, we share" 这句slogan我会牢记在心的。。。

希望在我往后的日子可以付诸于行动。。。

Module three, 希望可以在里面学习到更多，令人期待的。。。

怕。。。

很怕，真的很怕。。。

昨天刚考完试，今天拿起来看时，竟然发现有很多都做错了。。。

算算自己可以得到的分数。。。

心顿时凉了。。。

怕。。。怕需要从新读过。。。怕。。。怕需要从新考过。。。

怕。。。怕又要浪费钱。。。

焦虑。。。

怪，只能怪自己。。。

但，

但愿一切都还好。。。